The 'entertainment queen' continues..

After such honorable mention by Jim, and seeing that my day went differently as planned (went to the Wildflower center but lost one kid after lunch playing at his friends' house and daughter dearest is just singing her little heart out).. ANYhoo.. the Yahoo newslines fill me with dread and disgust (McCain leads Obama in the polls after a month of attack ads, gee America, how intelligent you make your choices, ever considered therapy??)..as I said, ANYhoo.. I am still not in the mood for being political today and am in need for 'some' humour. So what do I do? I go to the best of Craigslist..and doesn't this one say it all:

"Nemesis required. 6-month project with possibilty to extend

I've been trying to think of ways to spice up my life. I'm 35 years old, happily married with two kids and I have a good job in insurance. But somethings missing. I feel like I'm old before my time. I need to inject some excitement into my daily routine through my arm before its too late. I need a challenge, something to get the adrenaline pumping again. An addiction would be nice, but, in short, I need a nemesis. I'm willing to pay $350 up front for you services as an arch enemy over the next six months. Nothing crazy. Steal my parking space, knock my coffee over, trip me when Im running to catch the BART and occasionaly whisper in my ear, "Ahha, we meet again". That kind of thing. Just keep me on my toes. Complacency will be the death of me. You need to have an evil streak and be blessed with innate guile and cunning. You should also be adept at inconsicuous pursuit. Evil laugh preferred. Send me a photo and a brief explanation why you would be a good nemesis.

British accent preferred." (emph added by yours truly)

Ah yes, a Bri-ish accent..

how about this one; who put the dead bird in my mailbox? - w4m

or this one; Things my father taught me

and; A public service announcement: Please stop asking me if I'm pregnant.

check out the rest of the best of craigslist

Again, And Now For Something Completely Different; The Best of Craigslist!

A little humour goes a long way and let me just give you one lil' Craigs' list story amids the 'Best of...' :

Title; To The Man In The Motorized Wheelchair

You have restored my faith in humanity.

Lamentably, I work in the Lloyd District, and the largest assortment of food offerings in one place is, in fact, that true testament to the Portland Ghetto zeitgeist, The Lloyd Centre Mall. As I was walking toward the down escalator near the cinemas, having procured my foodstuffs, I noted a group of kids in front of me that should, undoubtedly, have been sitting in class in their middle school and were probably reveling in their shared truancy. As they walked, you came zipping around into their path in a motorized wheelchair like the place was the Portland International Raceway.

The quartet of young punks either did not notice or did not care enough to cede the right of way. That did not seem to phase you. No—you plowed right into the middle of them slammed to a stop, and grouchily shouted something akin to, ‘Jesus Christ! Move, motherfucker!’ out of your toothless maw.

I assure you that the profanity was utterly delicious.

Then you shoved down on that chair’s joystick and took off at a speed that indicated that the world had damned well better move for you.

The kids looked on in disbelief. I think on some level they were too flabbergasted to be offended.

Is it wrong that the cockles of my dark little heart just warmed at you schooling those young punks? And is it wrong that I then thought of myself in my old age shouting at kids to get off my lawn? There is hope. There are young punks a-plenty, and it is my most fervent wish that I get to plow down as many as my heart desires when I’m flying around the mall, my colostomy bag blazing like a standard.

Sir, I salute you. Huzzah!

For more of Craigs' 'quirky' and sometimes 'offensive' posts (sexual, religious etc)..Check out the rest of the best.

Which one was your favourite?