Again, And Now For Something Completely Different; The Best of Craigslist!
A little humour goes a long way and let me just give you one lil' Craigs' list story amids the 'Best of...' :
Title; To The Man In The Motorized Wheelchair
You have restored my faith in humanity.
Lamentably, I work in the Lloyd District, and the largest assortment of food offerings in one place is, in fact, that true testament to the Portland Ghetto zeitgeist, The Lloyd Centre Mall. As I was walking toward the down escalator near the cinemas, having procured my foodstuffs, I noted a group of kids in front of me that should, undoubtedly, have been sitting in class in their middle school and were probably reveling in their shared truancy. As they walked, you came zipping around into their path in a motorized wheelchair like the place was the Portland International Raceway.
The quartet of young punks either did not notice or did not care enough to cede the right of way. That did not seem to phase you. No—you plowed right into the middle of them slammed to a stop, and grouchily shouted something akin to, ‘Jesus Christ! Move, motherfucker!’ out of your toothless maw.
I assure you that the profanity was utterly delicious.
Then you shoved down on that chair’s joystick and took off at a speed that indicated that the world had damned well better move for you.
The kids looked on in disbelief. I think on some level they were too flabbergasted to be offended.
Is it wrong that the cockles of my dark little heart just warmed at you schooling those young punks? And is it wrong that I then thought of myself in my old age shouting at kids to get off my lawn? There is hope. There are young punks a-plenty, and it is my most fervent wish that I get to plow down as many as my heart desires when I’m flying around the mall, my colostomy bag blazing like a standard.
Sir, I salute you. Huzzah!
For more of Craigs' 'quirky' and sometimes 'offensive' posts (sexual, religious etc)..Check out the rest of the best.
Which one was your favourite?
Title; To The Man In The Motorized Wheelchair
You have restored my faith in humanity.
Lamentably, I work in the Lloyd District, and the largest assortment of food offerings in one place is, in fact, that true testament to the Portland Ghetto zeitgeist, The Lloyd Centre Mall. As I was walking toward the down escalator near the cinemas, having procured my foodstuffs, I noted a group of kids in front of me that should, undoubtedly, have been sitting in class in their middle school and were probably reveling in their shared truancy. As they walked, you came zipping around into their path in a motorized wheelchair like the place was the Portland International Raceway.
The quartet of young punks either did not notice or did not care enough to cede the right of way. That did not seem to phase you. No—you plowed right into the middle of them slammed to a stop, and grouchily shouted something akin to, ‘Jesus Christ! Move, motherfucker!’ out of your toothless maw.
I assure you that the profanity was utterly delicious.
Then you shoved down on that chair’s joystick and took off at a speed that indicated that the world had damned well better move for you.
The kids looked on in disbelief. I think on some level they were too flabbergasted to be offended.
Is it wrong that the cockles of my dark little heart just warmed at you schooling those young punks? And is it wrong that I then thought of myself in my old age shouting at kids to get off my lawn? There is hope. There are young punks a-plenty, and it is my most fervent wish that I get to plow down as many as my heart desires when I’m flying around the mall, my colostomy bag blazing like a standard.
Sir, I salute you. Huzzah!
For more of Craigs' 'quirky' and sometimes 'offensive' posts (sexual, religious etc)..Check out the rest of the best.
Which one was your favourite?
Labels: The Best of Craigs list
posted by Ingrid at
4:08 PM
3 Comments:
have a wonderful Christmas..and merry merry Holidays....and happy New Year....peace and joy to you and Hope...namaste.
Hi Ingrid,
You visited my brand new blog at Gary's suggestion way back in September. It hasn't improved much but it's longer now :-)
I just wanted to thank you and offer my best wishes for a Happy New Year to you and yours.
You are being punished for being
the friend of an Islamniggerloving
Traitor to America :
btw. We are for torture of all
liberal shitheads like you cunt!
Zee's home is burning down
come and read the news
at his site !!!
mirvat.elsibai@lau.edu.lb
Howdy intolerable fucker !
I'm back coz it's Black Tuesday
MY BLACK TUESDAY I predicted
so long while you stinking
fun society whores spurned
me and called me everything
from a self fulfilling prophecy
to a psychopath.
I predicted ages ago and I love
to watch you trashcan lose it all
in the cascade that's rushing the
globe.
First you'll lose yer house
then you'll lose yer truck
then you'll lose yer valuables
then you'll lose yer wife
then you'll lose yer
ingrate kids.
So watch me applaud to it
you graceless fucking traitor
you stinker who consistently
called himself a "friend"
while not ever lifting a
finger to earn that self
assumed description.
Now the Global economy is crashing
and it'll be so much worse than
29 it's the end of everything.
And global war is`waiting
in the wings rubbing it's
clammy fingers waiting to
swallow up your ruin.
Boy I feel good this morning.
So here I find myself riding
at the wings of the storm
that'll do away with all
of you...
Right now the market of India
that's 1.5 billion people
is closing for the day.
Hehehe and when the crash reaches
Us home territory in 13 hours
you'll all be beggars harharhar!
I want to taste y o u die
for a change while you clean toilets to come up with the
minimum means 4 a life
albeit a lousy one till
the war toasts you and
all around you !
All of you you hear !
especially your genetically challenged offspring !!!
you cunt ! And I say
Merry Tuesday kill The Zay !
That hate you say ...? I say.
I hate you so much it almost
feels like living again !
Especially now.
And since you know me none better
alas you treacherous cunt
you know what that takes
U dead U trashcan who'd vote
for that muslimnigger at the helm
of the United States of America
while not letting old Glory
fly her wings on "your" land
which you'll soon lose now
since mom ain't gonna have
the doe anymore !
It's payback time
and Black Tuesday brings it.
Your house is history your life is next.
As for Barrack Feisal Banana
if noone has the good sense to shoot
the fucker right now maybe I oughta
do it myself and rid the world
of his nigger foghorn he calls a voice
just like (fake) "Dr." Martin Luther
Niggerfuck King we'll spit on him.
Now we'll get a real white man
a war prez who'll just nuke the
muslims take the oil for free
as Aramco did in Saudi
55 years ago and then
we'll wipe the earth clean
with every liberal shithead
from here to the ends of the
earth - what am I saying
as from where I'm sitting
my "End of the Earth" is upstae NY.
Tsai Tien
Killed by the economy stupid !
Thank you economy so I do
not have to make my hands
dirty with having to do ya !
Harharharharhar.
It's afternoon in Japan
and all Asian stocks are losing
up to 20% and in Davos,
Switzerland CNN just foghorned
that it's a recession.
Boy I need my bottle of Rebel Yell
to drink to that finally Zee
and America and the rest
of the world are going
to hell and what the
fuck do I give that
I'm going with it.
Watching you squirm and die
ever so slowly makes me feel
like paradise though I am a
wandering homeless on my
last grand ready for
my own paradisevest.
At least I don't have to see
your hated face before I press
Send anymore.
Mirvat ?
Doesn't sound Christian...
Another muslim whore or just
an Islam loving whore waiting
for Huckabee"s whip ?
Great.
You Islam whores need to be raped
and whipped all day just like in
Theo's "Submission" who died
for showing the truth.
Islamcunts need to be gangraped
before even being allowed to
have sex with their husbands
sayeth Ayman AlZwahiri from
the Qaida !
And male muslims want to die
4 paradise hey that's great!
We oblige em both I say
the cunts and their male cunts!
Death to Islam.
It's time for a Final Solution
of the muslim question and boy
don't we have great teachers
to learn from.
Too much hate 4U bud ?
You don't know what hate is bud !
Naw worry I'll teach you
what my hate tastes like bud
and if it takes several lives !
I swear
you stinking false Anthroposophist
and traitor to the country that
adopted you !
May you have an inextractibly
long illness and an extremely
slow and painful death
and I pray that
5 times a day.
It's easy
Hey I don't even need a Carpet
or b end my back or know
where Mecca is !
You should adopt a muslim name
ho' bout Lukas Islam Zay
Lukas Abd El Kadr
you 5th column
of Shitslam
in Hobbiton.
P.S.: I have the intellectual
property rights on calling
Hillsdale Hobbiton coz
I invented it and you
spread it so ppl.think
it's a good Luke line.
You fucking thief.
you marvel that I hate yo !?!@!
You've always done shit like that.
But for me you'd play with Heidi
on yer offday coz I got you
entrance to the U.S, you
stinking fuck !
Did I ever get reciprocate action
of course not you lying cheating
motherfucking thief who styles
himself an Anthroposophist
based on a lie from the 20's.
Tummy cringe yet ?
Good fuck I want you to die
of ulcers !
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