Thursday, September 14, 2006

Her Daily Struggles

It struck me the other day, as I read one of my blogger friends' entry, how she must reflect her compatriots' experiences. How deeply this war in Iraq is affecting her. You'll say, well, of course, you're in a war zone, you're going to be affected, duh! But I tell you, if you're even a wee bit like me, reading about war, reading about attacks and resulting deaths, than you can only conceive of it conceptually. You'll feel sorry, even indignant that another human being has to go through that, but when I read Miraj's entry, the depth of her pain and justified anger just hit me like a ton of bricks. Sometimes, you just 'get it' and that sometime was with her post.
I stood in line in gas stations for 6 hours before and had to get back home one time at 8 pm in a dark city filled with killer monsters from all over the countries around us. I cried , I had body cramps , I felt I can’t get out of the deep dark hole I felt I’m laying at its bottom. Looking up searching for the light at the end of the tunnel. Have I stayed there? No! I stood up again and filled my car with gasoline and my generator with fuel.

I spent weeks and months under 50 centigrade degrees where is no electricity , where you feel your soul is struggling to get out of your body to feel relieved , where I had to suffer watching my old father begging for air at nights. I cried again, I felt sick, I thought I lost my faith. Have I given up? No! August is finished already and I passed the test and September is way better and I do not wake up anymore in the nights to take showers or to use my manual fan. I wake up only to operate our generator with Dad who holds the gun behind me protecting my back.

I was attacked in my own house by a filthy animal. I screamed, I fell ,I injured myself while running away cowardly , I cursed my life and shouted why me, I couldn’t sleep for weeks, I still cannot walk in the dark without turning around every second and I still cannot sleep in my dark room. Have I given up? No! I still have to go out in the night to operate the generator even though I have to get help from my father. I still take my father’s gun and search the house, room by room when ever I hear noise. Amazingly when I travel and find myself out of Iraq , I do not look around anymore, I do not fear that someone would attack me from behind in the dark while I walk alone in the streets , I do not open my eyes widely until it hurts searching for explosive bombs planted in the pavement whether I am the one who is driving or not.

I , with millions of my people, were and still are exposed to the most savage mental and physical destructive attacks from the most powerful country in the world, The United States of America .

She's a fighter and the spirit inside her is keeping her mind afloat amidst her daily struggles to survive emotionally and mentally, never mind physically. But there is pain my friends, a lot of pain. With pain comes anger. I so wish I could help get rid of both. It is time to start thinking about sending the Bush administration and its lackeys packing. Start thinking how you can be involved other than voting. Because there is more at stake than 'just Iraq'. We have to prevent a veritable WW3. Really.

Read about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Read about how you can help ousting the Bush administration


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