Since I wrote last week about my panic attacks, I have not given an update so I'm due. Last week, I visited my doctor twice in one week, having even lost 4lbs in 4 days because of the stress and inability to eat. I told him I needed to have something to settle my stomach so I could at least eat because that was just one more added 'vicious cycle' that I did not need. I told him I responded well with phenergan since I had been given it twice for two different reasons. My doctor, knowing how much I do not like medicine, wrote me the prescription knowing that I knew what I was doing. (now there's a good doctor, but then, he knows me) He also encouraged me to keep taking the xanax as needed until the Lexapro medicine would kick in and I have taken it a few times since. It is very unnerving to feel 'over taken' as it were and it is very unsettling to feel as if you're body freezes with fear that seems totally irrational. One of the moms' at my kids' school is a psychiatrist (don't know if I mentioned it before) and she told me that panic attacks are biological. You're either predisposed to experience them or not. So, I am (whoopee). Still, unlike 20 some years ago, I do not have to suffer through them curled up in the fetal position unable to cope but I can take something for it and that has been a life saver. When I realized that it's not just 'in my head' but some misfiring thingy in my brain (ok, very layman of me but I can't think of how to explain it properly right now) that needed adjusting/fine tuning, I felt relieved. And not guilty about taking something for it either.
Funny thing is, when I told one of my neighbours of the situation she said, oh if you ever need anything I have a whole stash of xanax! Her situation is that she's afflicted with chronic pain in her head, she has a pinched nerve that 'they' (the doctors) cannot address other than suggesting breaking her neck (yeah right) so she's been very depressed over that. The strenght of her xanax is 1mg though, mine is a fourth!! I only take 0.25mg .. holy cow. I imagine that if I had 1mg, I'd be zonked! No thanks!
So this is the update, I've been taking lexapro for about 5 days (1mg) and from time to time my 'happy pill' as I like to call it.
Good thing too because I was involved with the Halloween festival fundraiser at my kids' school in charge of the food section so, happy pill makes for happy selling! ha! Just kidding. Both meds, but especially the xanax for now is a life saver.
This thursday morning, I will go to my first session with a psychologist because the panic attacks are just the result of something having been suppressed for too long. I think anyway.
So..that's what's new. What's new with you guys?