After such honorable mention by Jim, and seeing that my day went differently as planned (went to the Wildflower center but lost one kid after lunch playing at his friends' house and daughter dearest is just singing her little heart out).. ANYhoo.. the Yahoo newslines fill me with dread and disgust (McCain leads Obama in the polls after a month of attack ads, gee America, how intelligent you make your choices, ever considered therapy??)..as I said, ANYhoo.. I am still not in the mood for being political today and am in need for 'some' humour. So what do I do? I go to the best of Craigslist..and doesn't this one say it all:
"Nemesis required. 6-month project with possibilty to extend
I've been trying to think of ways to spice up my life. I'm 35 years old, happily married with two kids and I have a good job in insurance. But somethings missing. I feel like I'm old before my time. I need to inject some excitement into my daily routine through my arm before its too late. I need a challenge, something to get the adrenaline pumping again. An addiction would be nice, but, in short, I need a nemesis. I'm willing to pay $350 up front for you services as an arch enemy over the next six months. Nothing crazy. Steal my parking space, knock my coffee over, trip me when Im running to catch the BART and occasionaly whisper in my ear, "Ahha, we meet again". That kind of thing. Just keep me on my toes. Complacency will be the death of me. You need to have an evil streak and be blessed with innate guile and cunning. You should also be adept at inconsicuous pursuit. Evil laugh preferred. Send me a photo and a brief explanation why you would be a good nemesis.
British accent preferred." (emph added by yours truly)
Ah yes, a Bri-ish accent..
how about this one; who put the dead bird in my mailbox? - w4m
or this one; Things my father taught me
and; A public service announcement: Please stop asking me if I'm pregnant.
check out the rest of the best of craigslist
I'll offer my services if I'm ever in the neighborhood but doing it and not telling you would be more fun. Be careful what you ask for (something my mother told me).
ReplyDeleteHaHaHaHaHa!! This was the role of Cato in "The Pink Panther." I am howling as I think of Cato waiting for him in the dark, with a sword, while...Inspector Clouseau.. oh, happy memories. Are you going for the Cato job?!!
ReplyDeleteSusan LOL..that was an excerpt! (nay, I'm way past 35 [g]), the thing with this new look is that 'bold' does not show as much and you know..I must've forgotten to put the link to the actual page in that title and yes Maria..Cato! Hilarious! Dirk loves the 'new' Insp. Clouseau with Steve Martin but I told him that the original is so much better. Actually, I should see if I can find 'The Party' where Peter Sellers plays an Indian actor crashing a Hollywood party with of course, ensuing mayhem..
ReplyDeleteoh and as for me 'going for the Cato job'.. ha! That is a guy in San Fran (the Bart) who's obviously having a very good, albeit boring life.. a lot of the posts on that craigslist have a similar style to it so people seem to share that same sense of humour,
Ingrid
I loved that one about "Stop Asking Me If I'm Pregnant". Good stuff.
ReplyDeleteThe dead bird was my dark horse favorite.
ReplyDeleteblueberry..isn't it awful with that lady who had cancer? When women are pregnant it's rule number one in the 21st century NOT to touch someone's belly..esPEcially if you don't know that person..
ReplyDeleteand eew..the dead bird one left you to wonder; who on earth got it in there? and why? at least it was not a dead fish or a dead chopped of finger or whatever it is that the mafia uses ..eew!
Ingrid